Candy bark cookie mess

Chocolate Candy Icebox Bars

Is candy/cookie gravel a thing?  Because I think that's what I made

Is candy/cookie gravel a thing? Because I think that’s what I made

All of these “use up candy” recipes start with a false premise, namely, leftover Halloween candy is something that you need to do something with.  Like something other than just put it in your face or give it away.  I mean, it’s a fun idea, but these are difficult recipes to justify.  Also, this recipe specifically calls for Kit Kat, Snickers, and Crunch.  What if you gave away something else?  I actually wound up buying Halloween candy so that I could have these particular leftovers.  That’s kind of the tail wagging the dog, right?

All musing aside, these are amazing.  They are actually worth buying the stuff for.  They are rich and sweet and delicious.  They are a little like muddy buddies and oreos and a bowl of candy had a baby.  If that sounds good, then welcome aboard.

But I must get a few pointers out of the way.  1) chocolate wafer cookies don’t exist outside of the east coast.  Stop it, B, they don’t.  I put oreos in the food processor instead.  Because that meant that I pulverized both cookies and filling, I omitted the powdered sugar from the recipe.  Side note: if you have extra cookie dust, you can mix it into vanilla ice cream and make your own cookies and cream.  2) Do not let this chill overnight before cutting into it.  Just don’t.  I used melted chocolate chips with M & M’s on top because I didn’t have Crunch bars, but I did have M & M’s and those are crunchy…  I wound up with a rock hard topping that could not be cut, which turned cookie bars into a sort of candy bark.  Let’s have an illustration to explain where this went wrong:

I did the first step with all of the cookie crumbs and peanut butter and candy bars, and I followed those instructions to the letter.  Then it was getting late, so I decided to melt the chocolate chips, sprinkle on the M & M’s…then I went to bed.  The recipe calls for you to let it set for 30 minutes.  I woke up to this:

Um, and there were parchment paper pieces in it...that wound up in my sister's mouth.  oops.

Um, and there were parchment paper pieces in it…that wound up in my sister’s mouth. oops.

Cutting it with my biggest, sharpest, nastiest knife left me with this:

Clean little bars, these are not...

Clean little bars, these are not…

It went downhill from there:

I literally took this picture and thought, "Well, you caption this one 'the moment I gave up.'"

I literally took this picture and thought, “Well, you caption this one ‘the moment I gave up.'”

The top kept busting off of the bottom, the M & M’s were coming apart.  This is what I wound up with:

*shrugs

*shrugs

I brought the pretty pieces (the ones that kind of stayed together) to my family’s party.  The rest of it hung out in my fridge.  And was eaten by me.  Pretty?  No.  Delicious?  My word, yes.

So save yourself the heartache and follow the directions on this one.